hey, maybe you’re infertile (pt. 1)

If you are a woman who has been to the doctor in the past, you probably know that it can be especially challenging to get a healthcare provider trust that you might know a thing or two about your own body when things feel off.

I happened to have a nurse for a mother, so I am well-equipped to talk to healthcare professionals. I often know the right questions to ask and how to get the care I’m entitled to as a paying customer.

However, that all went right out the window when my husband and I decided to try to grow our family.

By the time our first wedding anniversary came, I had been off of any form of birth control for about a year and a half. We decided during our anniversary vacation planning that when we got back, we would start trying to make that baby!

During said vacation at the end of January 2017, just like the end of every month before it, I got my period. I was a bit disappointed when not two weeks later, I got another period. What was this nonsense? I was always so regular before. I had even originally scheduled my wedding around my period and potential pre-menstrual bloating–that’s just how regular I was! 30 more days came and went and there was no period. I took pregnancy tests, even though I knew I wasn’t pregnant.

She gave me a pregnancy test and told me I was “just stressed.”

I just knew there was something off with my body. I knew my body, and this wasn’t normal.

After a couple more weeks with no change, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment. My doctor was out on vacation, so I saw someone I had never met before. I said that my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, and I knew something was wrong because I never miss a period, and would have my period like clockwork at the end or beginning of each month for a couple of days.

She gave me a pregnancy test and told me I was “just stressed.” Stress can cause women’s cycles to be off.


She didn’t ask a single question about anything that was going on in my life or with my body. Just a diagnosis of stress. The most infuriating blow-off a woman can experience. If I wasn’t stressed before, I was certainly stressed as a result of being told how I was feeling by someone who had never met me before.

As a result of this shoddy medical care, I scheduled my overdue well-woman visit. Everything came back normal, and I was told to wait it out a while longer.

Suddenly, though, this thing I didn’t know for sure that I wanted–a kid–seemed like the only thing I wanted in the world.

At the end of March, I was finally scheduled for an ultrasound and blood tests since my period was still MIA after about 50 days.

Finally, a few days later, I got an email with a diagnosis of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) that said that it could be difficult to be pregnant. If I didn’t get my period within another week, we would induce it with drugs and then she’d prescribe me Clomid.

Boom. All that delivered right to my inbox.

Not two days before this diagnosis, I told my husband that if there were some reason that we couldn’t get pregnant naturally that I don’t think I’d want to go through fertility treatments to have a child. I didn’t think that I could handle that. I didn’t know if I wanted a child that badly.

Suddenly, though, this thing I didn’t know for sure that I wanted–a kid–seemed like the only thing I wanted in the world.

If only I could get some decent medical care, maybe we could figure out our course of action.

Read more in part 2!

Photo by Martin Brosy on Unsplash

2 thoughts on “hey, maybe you’re infertile (pt. 1)

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